Chastity And What It Means To Be Chaste

Almost everyone that you speak to on this topic seem to think that being chaste is totally boring, absolutely impossible and that it means being completely sexually inactive. Well that thought pattern is totally WRONG!!!

There are many, many people, all over the world, who are chaste and they all enjoy very healthy, fulfilling and balanced sex lives as well – might I add that they are all married couples. Unfortunately, (there is no intention to slight any one here) but it has become necessary to further emphesize that when marriage is spoken of or referred to here on this site, Fully Catholic, it is in the context of the TRUE meaning of marriage, which is between one man and one woman. No matter how we try to bend the truth to accommodate sin, the truth cannot and will not change. The essence of chastity is being true to one’s state in life – be it married life, single life, the priesthood or religious life. Chastity or being chase is not just about an act or avoiding a particular act, it is also about a state of your mind and your heart.

What does the Catholic Church mean by Chastity and Being Chaste?

The Catholic Church teaches that we are called to live our lives in a way that demonstrates the dignity of the human person by acknowledging and respecting our sexuality as a gift from God. Whatever our state in life – be it single, married, priesthood or religious life – when we use this gift in accordance with God’s will, we give glory to Him and help in the building up of His kingdom here on earth.

Exactly what does chastity mean for the single person?

For the single individual it implies the very same thing – being true to ones state of being single, NOT according to the world’s standards, but according to GOD’S. In the eyes of God, sex is meant to be the ULTIMATE expression of love between a married couple – a husband and his wife. For a single person, being chaste meant total abstinence from ALL sexual activities. Some may think that it is impossible and foolhardy to even think that this can be done and such a life lived; well I have two things to say to those:-

1. There are millions of people all over the world who have consciously and deliberately chosen to live such a life and are actually living chase lives.
2. Secondly, The Word of God tells us in Philippians 4: 13, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”

Always remember that the intent of the world is to have you think that there is no life after this life, and therefore you should live this life to the ‘max’ doing what you want. WRONG!!! There is life after this, and we all will be judged at the end of our earthly lives, and at that judgement, many will be cast into the eternal fire because they rejected God and His ways.

Sexual intercourse is the overall self-giving of one individual to another under the Sacrament of Marriage. It is so intimate that it is an emotional, intellectual, spiritual, as well as physical encounter. It is so profound that it strengthens the bonds of marriage and it puts a seal on it as well.

The bond of love between husband and wife resembles the adhesive effect of duct tape. As mentioned earlier, sexual intimacy makes and builds up the bond between male and female. So exactly what happens when we are sexually active with different partners outside of marriage? Well if we place a piece of tape on our hand to represent the first individual we have sex with, there is a sturdy bond. Now if we try to remove that tape from our hand, two things happen:- 1) it hurts and 2) the strength of the duct tape is weakened.

Using the same analogy of the duct tape to be sexual union; you move on to a next partner and again, outside of marriage, you become sexually active, a bond takes place there again, but because you have but one sexuality (remember the duct tape) the bond is not as strong as the first. With this in mind, you can understand the tragedy of someone trying to settle down after going through several sexual partners. Unless there is some deep and true reconciliation, that final bond will be very shaky and unfulfilling.

Is there such a thing as chastity in marriage?

If or when you are married, you will want your spouse to be faithful to you as well as you to your spouse. That is the essence of living a chaste married life.

Recalling the example of the duct tape used earlier, while you are single, for the bond of your sexuality to be at its strongest and therefore its best, you will want to live a chase life in preservation for marriage. When and while married, for the bonds of marriage to remain strong and pure, you must also continue living chaste lives, being faithful to your spouse alone. That way, you will truly enjoy the intimacy and the depth of your marriage bond and have a really caring partnership.

Because the sacrament of marriage is so sacred, and because our sexuality is likewise sacred, any misuse or distortion of sex is terrible and destructive to our spiritual lives. Therefore, even within marriage, the misuse or distorted use of sex is sinful. As Catholics we are called to be an example to others in the world, not just in our public lives but also in our private lives as well since in reality the two cannot be separated.

We are called to realize that if we want to experience perfect peace and joy, we must live our lives in accordance with the will of God. God has made us in His image and likeness and if we live according to His precepts we will experience perfect peace.

Just how does somebody restore and preserve chastity in his or her life?

Any young person who wants to be chaste or restore his or her chaste lifestyle can do so by the grace of Almighty God. It will mean taking up your cross daily and following Jesus. Is it always going to be easy? No it won’t but He will sustain you every step along the way, and when you are at your weakest, as long as you trust in Him, His perfect strength will become visible in you even in your weakness. Jesus has promised us all that He will be with us always; you see, not only does God call us to live a particular way that glorifies Him, He also gives us all that we need to do all that He asks us to do.

Young people, God is always there. He never leaves you. He never forsakes you. He is always there by your side to give you the grace, the extra help you need to be chaste and to live your life in a way that pleases Him. Do not be afraid to call out his name in times of trouble. Pray to him regularly. Allow Jesus to be your best friend. This is critical for any attempting to live the virtue of chastity; or for that matter, anyone who wants to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

There is no magic formula for prayer; no fixed set of words, but let it come from your heart. An important aspect of prayer is to listen. Listen to God. You can do this by reading and pondering the Bible, by reading and pondering on the Catholic catechism, and just sitting in silence in the presence of God, before the Blessed Sacrament. Mary the Mother of God is a very powerful intercessor for those wanting to follow Jesus her son. Do not be afraid nor ashamed to ask her to help you.

Exactly how do the sacraments help in a chaste way of living?

Many of us take vitamins to help build up our bodies and to strengthen our immune system. We will not stop to think twice that when we seem to be coming down with the flu, we need to increase our intake of vitamin C. Just as fervently as we take care of our bodies, we should also do the same for our souls. The sacraments of the Church are to our souls what multi-vitamins and healthy eating are to our bodies.

That being said, it is a great practice to go regularly to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and as a practicing Catholic, you should attend Mass every weekend, receiving Holy Communion in the process. Present in all the seven sacraments of the Holy Catholic Church, is an abundance of God’s grace that we all need for our souls, and that will sustain us for the road that lies ahead. Have you ever gone on a cross country trip on a quarter tank of gas? That is what trying to be chaste would be like without the grace of God so powerfully present in the Sacraments.

If we falter along the way by committing sins of impurity with ourselves or with others, or any sin for that matter, the Sacrament of Reconciliation assures us of God’s desire to forgive us and of his unlimited love and mercy towards us. All we need to do is approach God’s throne of mercy, with sincere sorrow for our sins in the Sacrament of reconciliation and we are guaranteed that all of our sins are forgiven and God will give you the grace to become chaste once again.

Through the sacrament of reconciliation, God shows us how much He loves us. By treasuring the gift of our body and our sexuality, and by helping others to genuinely value themselves as well, we show God just how much we love Him.