Embracing the Cross: How Do We Do It?

St. Paul speaks with profound clarity about embracing the cross, and while his words can be inspiring, the practical question many of us wrestle with is: How do we actually embrace the cross in our daily lives? It’s one thing to hear the call to carry our crosses, but it’s another to understand how we are meant to live this out. After all, nobody naturally seeks out suffering or hardship.

Yet, St. Paul and countless saints throughout the ages have shown us that the cross is not only unavoidable but necessary for transformation in Christ. So, how can we, like them, come to embrace our crosses with faith, trust, and even love?

1. Surrender to God’s Will

Embracing the cross begins with surrender. This means giving up the illusion that we are in full control of our lives and trusting in God’s greater plan. Often, we face situations we cannot change—illness, financial hardship, broken relationships—and our first instinct is to fix them or avoid them. But part of taking up our cross is learning to say, “Lord, I don’t understand why this is happening, but I trust that You are with me and that You have a purpose for allowing this.”

Surrender doesn’t mean being passive. It means actively choosing to trust God. You can begin by simply praying, “Lord, I give this to You. Help me to trust in Your plan, even when I can’t see it.”

2. Find Meaning in the Suffering

When suffering comes, it’s easy to feel like it’s pointless or unfair. But in the Christian life, suffering is not meaningless—it can be a powerful opportunity for spiritual growth and transformation when we unite it with Christ’s own suffering.

This means that whatever you’re going through—whether it’s physical pain, emotional struggles, or even daily frustrations—can be offered up to God as a participation in the redemptive work of Christ. We say to God, “I give you this pain, this frustration, this trial. Use it for Your glory, and help me to grow through it.”

By doing this, we open our hearts to the grace that God offers in the midst of suffering. We find meaning in the suffering because it’s no longer just about us—it becomes part of a larger story of redemption.

3. Trust in God’s Purpose

It’s natural to ask, “Why is this happening to me?” when we face a cross. But the truth is that, often, we don’t get to know the “why” right away. Instead, God invites us to trust that He is working for our good, even in the darkest times.

Think of St. Paul’s words in Romans 8:28: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” This doesn’t mean that every situation will turn out the way we want, but it does mean that God is using every situation to draw us closer to Him.

To embrace the cross, we have to trust that God sees the bigger picture. We may not understand now, but faith teaches us that one day we will look back and see how God used even our deepest sufferings for His purpose.

4. Look to Jesus’ Example

Jesus didn’t just talk about carrying the cross—He lived it. His entire life, and especially His passion and death, are the ultimate example of embracing the cross out of love. When we struggle with our own crosses, we can turn to Jesus in prayer, asking for the strength to follow His example.

We can say, “Lord, I don’t want to carry this cross, but like You in the Garden of Gethsemane, I say, ‘Not my will, but Yours be done.’ Give me the strength to trust and to love as You did.”

Looking to Jesus also means meditating on His passion. Spend time reading the Gospels, especially the accounts of His suffering, and allow His example to guide you through your own trials. The more we focus on how He carried His cross, the more we’ll learn to carry ours.

5. Offer It for Others

This is where things get practical, especially for those who have heard the phrase “offer it up” and aren’t sure what it really means. Offering our suffering for others is one of the most powerful ways we can embrace the cross. But how do we actually do this?

To “offer it up” means to take the suffering you are experiencing—whether it’s big or small—and consciously unite it to Jesus’ suffering for the benefit of someone else. In other words, you can say, “Lord, I offer this pain, this frustration, this difficulty for [name of person or intention].”

Here are some practical steps to help you offer up your suffering for others:

• Make a specific intention. When you’re going through a difficult time, you can choose to offer it up for a particular person or group of people. For example, if you’re experiencing physical pain, you could say, “Lord, I offer this pain for my friend who is struggling with depression.” Or if you’re dealing with stress at work, you might say, “Lord, I offer this stress for all those who are suffering from anxiety and need Your peace.” Be specific about who or what you are offering it for.
• Unite it with Christ’s suffering. When you offer your suffering, don’t just think of it as a burden—see it as a gift you can give to God. You might pray, “Lord, I unite this suffering with Your suffering on the cross. Use it to bring grace and healing to [person’s name].” This transforms your pain into something redemptive, a way of participating in Christ’s saving work.
• Offer small daily sacrifices. Offering it up doesn’t have to be reserved for major sufferings. You can also offer up the little annoyances and frustrations of daily life. Maybe you’re stuck in traffic, or you’re feeling impatient with a coworker. In those moments, you can pause and say, “Lord, I offer this frustration for the souls in purgatory,” or “I offer this for my friend’s conversion.”
• Use it as intercession. Offering your suffering is also a way to pray for others. For example, if you’re enduring a long, painful recovery from surgery, you could say, “Lord, I offer this for all those undergoing surgery today, that they might find comfort and healing in You.” You’re turning your suffering into a prayer of intercession for others.
• Draw strength from the Eucharist. Offering it up takes on even greater meaning when it’s united to the sacrifice of the Mass. When you attend Mass, you can offer your suffering along with the gifts of bread and wine, saying, “Lord, I offer this cross to You as part of my sacrifice today. Use it to bring grace to others.” This gives your offering an even deeper connection to Christ’s redemptive work.

By offering up your suffering for others, you are not only embracing the cross for yourself—you’re turning it into a powerful act of love for those who need God’s grace.

6. Cultivate Joy Amid the Suffering

Finally, embracing the cross doesn’t mean resigning yourself to misery. In fact, St. Paul shows us that it’s possible to find joy even in the midst of suffering. In Philippians 4:4, he writes, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

This joy isn’t based on circumstances—it’s based on the deep conviction that God is with us in every trial. It’s the joy of knowing that suffering is temporary, but the grace and growth that come from it are eternal. Joy is a choice, not a feeling, and when we choose to find joy in God’s presence, even in our hardest moments, we reflect the beauty of the Gospel to the world.

To cultivate this joy, start by thanking God for the small graces He gives, even in suffering. You might say, “Lord, I don’t understand why I’m going through this, but I thank You for Your presence and for the ways You are working in my life.” Gratitude opens the door to joy, even when life is hard.

Conclusion: Embrace the Cross with Faith

Embracing the cross is not easy, but it is the only way to follow Christ fully. When we take up our crosses, we share in the mystery of His suffering and the promise of His resurrection. Each cross we bear is a step closer to union with Him. And when we carry our crosses with faith, trust, and love, they become not burdens but pathways to deeper grace, transformation, and eternal life.