Love One Another As I Have Loved You

(By Fr. Dexter Brereton)

A man can have no greater love than to lay down his live for his friends.

[simpleazon-image align=”left” asin=”0829441700″ locale=”us” height=”375″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51yJEPgliUL.jpg” width=”250″]What we have before us this Sunday in this exquisite passage from John’s gospel is a description of the experience of love. Last Sunday we heard Jesus describe the intense unity existing among the members of the Christian family, comparing it to a vine. Building on this theme, Jesus now goes on to describe the love which exists, or is supposed to exist among his followers, a love which begins in God the Father, who shared it with God the Son, in the unity of God the Spirit.

All love; all human experiences of love ultimately find their remote origins in God.

Many years ago, before leaving for my missionary experience in Haiti, a friend of mine in the parish where I was working gathered together a few of my closest friends and we had a final meal together. There was all my favourite food and the evening turned out to be one of deep affirmation and love. The experience never left me in the years ahead even at those times when I arrived at a point where I felt hated or unloved.

I have also experienced great love in the welcome given to me by people who were barely more than strangers to me. Toward the end of my stay in St Lucia, during my training for the priesthood, I spent a day in Martinique where I was welcomed by a friend, “Lucien” by name who took me around, had a meal with me and sent me off again with a parting gift. Not long after that splendid day in Martinique I went off to St. Vincent where once again I was very warmly welcomed by a Spiritan confrere of mine.

In a real sense many of my own subsequent efforts to love, welcome and lend support to other people, were deeply influenced and motivated by these earlier experiences of love. Indeed one may say that love is a reflection of an experience that we have had, one that warms us to the depths, love is nothing but a return of that wonderful, unexpected gift that we have ourselves received. Today’s gospel begins as follows:

As the Father has loved me,

so I have loved you.

Jesus’ love for others is a mirror, of the love between the Father and himself. More than this, his life is “rooted” in the experience of love. This “rootedness” shapes and colours his life and all his responses. This is exactly what Jesus wishes for his followers:

Remain in my love,

if you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,

just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.

The verb “remain” throws up the image of someone caught up in an experience of love. This love produces joy:

I have told you this

So that my own joy may be in you and your joy may be complete

Love however, is demanding. Jesus asks his disciples to imitate his high standard:

This is my commandment:

Love one another,

As I have loved you.

A man can have no greater love than to lay down his live for his friends.

Any love that is worthy of the name, inevitably involves a ‘laying down’ of one’s life. It often involves loving in the face of that which is loveless or unlovable.

These days for some strange reason I find myself walking with quite a number of people who have come to a painful place in their relationship with a ‘significant other’.  In that place of desolation that they are truly learning the art of love – an art that involves letting go of hurt, forgiving, refusing the desire for revenge. In fact, I believe that one of love’s “wisdom teachings” which I have learned in this whole process goes something like this : the REAL challenge in life, is not getting even with your significant other, but in growing beyond your difficulties. All this reminds me of a quote from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet”:

…Even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.